This past Friday a special milestone was reached in my life. It was my 25th anniversary of understanding that unconditional love was actually part of the human potential. See, on February 19, 1985 my daughter Megan was born ... and so was I. At least the part of me that anyone really cares about. Or should care about, to be honest.
The first time I touched Megan, lying there in her little incubator after Kathy's C-section delivery, I reached through the hole in the plastic and I touched her using my little finger because I was so afraid of doing something wrong or hurting her. Even now, after 25 years have passed - after all the life experiences that a quarter of a century can lay on a guy's head and heart - I still remember that moment like it was yesterday. For a moment time stood still, and when my little finger made contact, it was like everything that was wrong or out of place for the 32 years I'd lived prior to that moment was all just a crazy path leading up to that split second. It didn't matter how I got there, I was there - the penultimate fresh start. Kathy had given me the greatest gift I'll ever receive this side of Heaven, and I knew it and I felt it. I had no idea it would be so much fun ... or I probably would have exploded and flown around the room backwards. I don't think it happened in the original 7 day plan, but on 2-19-85 God said, "Let there be fun", and thus He brought Megan into my life ... and the smiles went forth and multiplied!
So, you know how in Romans 8 the Bible explains to us how nothing "in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"? On my 25th anniversary of Megan's birth, I can tell you that I actually do understand that, and it just keeps growing. To believe that God loves me even more than the love I discovered 25 years ago is the most life affirming message I could ever possibly understand. Thanks, Megan. Thanks, Kathy. Without you, I might still be wondering if that was really a possibility, but now, more than ever, I know its true. And Lily, you're just a little booster shot of Vitamin Love, too, baby!!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
It's Olympics all the way, baby!! USA! USA!
This is such an exciting time in my house!! On Friday we had an Olympics Opening Ceremony Party with the star attractions being Megan, Chris and Lily coming to town, rocking good food, and of course, the Olympics Opening Ceremonies!!
We made pulled pork macaroni and cheese with four cheeses and carmelized onions, topped with Panko bread crumbs - can you say yum, yum? With garlic bread and salad it was a real hit - followed by assorted chocolates and lots and lots of laughs. It was a night to remember.
The Murray family has a long history of being totally over the top for the Olympics, and these Winter Games are no exception. We love Canada, and anyone who watched the opening ceremonies couldn't help but love Canada, too. They did such a good job - they were so creative and fun and true to their multicultural heritage. It was really special, especially coming on the heals of the extravaganza that was Beijing, China. Now don't get me wrong, the Beijing Opening Ceremonies were a miracle - a presentation that set a new standard like Avatar sets a new standard in animation ... but the Vancouver presentation was so ... real ... so ... personal ... what the Chinese made me feel with millions of dollars, thousands of people and state of the art technology, Vancouver made me feel with some sail fabric hung in the shape of the Canadian Rockies and a Joni Mitchel song with a single flying acrobat. They are completely different events - like opera and country music - and I can understand it if anyone felt differently than me. But for my sense of pleasure, Vancouver really hit a home run, and I was really, really proud of them for their efforts and creativity.
And watching it with my family, including Chet (and in absentia but always in our hearts Zack and Carriza) was the icing on the cake. Lily's first Olympics. Yahoo.
So now the struggle is to work the Olympics schedule of events into the tax season work schedule ... a task worthy of Solomon, but unfortunately tasked to me. Still, I will do all I can. Megan, Chris and Lily are spending all week with us, so I expect this might just be the best week of my entire life ... not that I'm too excited or anything to have everyone together.
Go USA! Go Canada! Go the WORLD and learn from the lessons the Olympic brotherhood can teach us!
We made pulled pork macaroni and cheese with four cheeses and carmelized onions, topped with Panko bread crumbs - can you say yum, yum? With garlic bread and salad it was a real hit - followed by assorted chocolates and lots and lots of laughs. It was a night to remember.
The Murray family has a long history of being totally over the top for the Olympics, and these Winter Games are no exception. We love Canada, and anyone who watched the opening ceremonies couldn't help but love Canada, too. They did such a good job - they were so creative and fun and true to their multicultural heritage. It was really special, especially coming on the heals of the extravaganza that was Beijing, China. Now don't get me wrong, the Beijing Opening Ceremonies were a miracle - a presentation that set a new standard like Avatar sets a new standard in animation ... but the Vancouver presentation was so ... real ... so ... personal ... what the Chinese made me feel with millions of dollars, thousands of people and state of the art technology, Vancouver made me feel with some sail fabric hung in the shape of the Canadian Rockies and a Joni Mitchel song with a single flying acrobat. They are completely different events - like opera and country music - and I can understand it if anyone felt differently than me. But for my sense of pleasure, Vancouver really hit a home run, and I was really, really proud of them for their efforts and creativity.
And watching it with my family, including Chet (and in absentia but always in our hearts Zack and Carriza) was the icing on the cake. Lily's first Olympics. Yahoo.
So now the struggle is to work the Olympics schedule of events into the tax season work schedule ... a task worthy of Solomon, but unfortunately tasked to me. Still, I will do all I can. Megan, Chris and Lily are spending all week with us, so I expect this might just be the best week of my entire life ... not that I'm too excited or anything to have everyone together.
Go USA! Go Canada! Go the WORLD and learn from the lessons the Olympic brotherhood can teach us!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A mini-milestone ....
Wheeeew ... and I say that with a long, powerful exhale that changes that single syllable into a meaningful message. The end of today will mark one month on my diet. Or one year. Or one lifetime. It's all becoming a blur to me, although my body keeps sending me messages that seem to translate into, "And just WHO exactly thought this was a good idea??"
See, all dieting ALWAYS breaks down into one, single component: which celebrity is endorsing it ... no, that's not right. It's all about getting my body to use more calories than it is receiving. Then the body releases it's stored calories (fat), the fat is used up and ultimately goes (and this is just my theory) where single socks go from the dryer. Honestly, I don't care where it goes just as long as it leaves me. If there is some parallel universe where right now someone is putting on all the weight I am losing and saying, "I don't understand why I'm gaining weight when I never overeat?", who cares. This is war, baby, and my loss is my loss. So kiss my (choose a body part) parallel universe person!! 'Tis better to give than to receive, and I'm giving until it hurts!
I have had some success so far on the diet. This morning I marked 25 pounds lost. If I say 25.4 pounds, then you may better understand how I really feel about all this. The diet I am on - I drink essentially a "protein drink" three times a day that totals about 800 calories (or approximately 13 points to all the Weight Watcher fans) - is the most unnatural diet imaginable. The body is meant to eat something, and when it isn't, it has mechanisms that kick in and react to the lack of sustenance. That's the physical part, and it is very real. I have had recurring headaches, nausea, and I'll be going along just great and then suddenly simply run out of energy to the point of feeling like I could pass out. My stamina on the golf course is very suspect, and I have had to sit out a couple of holes in a round while I make a drink, ingest it and wait for it to kick in. I have also had a pretty good bout of dizziness from time to time, and I don't think there's anything more completely debilitating than being dizzy. Dizziness doesn't just effect your ability to break open a pinata - it knocks out whoever it chooses to attack, and it's my least favorite side effect.
Ah, but the physical part is just one component. The emotional part - the psychological part - now that's the interesting angle. I know some of the psychological issue is created by my body's reaction to starvation, because I have days where eating means nothing to me and I have to consciously remember to drink my drinks ... and the next day I feel like I could eat the piano if I had a little mustard. But I'm working on it.
But here's the real key I'm working on: I can use food in conjunction with socializing, to facilitate taking a break and for all around enjoyment - but it just doesn't have to be tons of food. My stomach has shrunk until now it is hard for me to consume an entire bottle of Arrowhead water with my two packets of protein powder. That's too much volume for my stomach. So the way I see it, all I have to do is get my head around the idea that I can survive (and perhaps thrive) on food quantities that mirror that experience. That would mean cutting a Chipoltle Burrito into like five segments when I am used to eating 90% (OK, sometimes 100%) of it. What a quantum shift that would be? A Lean Cuisine would actually be enough food for a meal? I could order and be satisfied with a 6" Subway sandwich? Can I overcome my disbelief in that concept when I return to eating again?
Honestly, from where I stand right now, Weight Watchers look like glutonous pigs to me. A little harsh, you say? Pound sand, oh judgmental reader. Nutrisystem? Jenny Craig? Drag a mile in my moccasins and see how you feel, Valerie Bertinelli. Give a twirl to show off your new figure and drop in a dizzy heap to the floor. Let's see if you can keep that bright smile when the only food group you have access to is gum.
Moving on ... did I mention I'm down 25.4 pounds? Probably did ... can't think clearly ... repeating myself a lot ... have to go now. Survival is calling me.
Love to all.
See, all dieting ALWAYS breaks down into one, single component: which celebrity is endorsing it ... no, that's not right. It's all about getting my body to use more calories than it is receiving. Then the body releases it's stored calories (fat), the fat is used up and ultimately goes (and this is just my theory) where single socks go from the dryer. Honestly, I don't care where it goes just as long as it leaves me. If there is some parallel universe where right now someone is putting on all the weight I am losing and saying, "I don't understand why I'm gaining weight when I never overeat?", who cares. This is war, baby, and my loss is my loss. So kiss my (choose a body part) parallel universe person!! 'Tis better to give than to receive, and I'm giving until it hurts!
I have had some success so far on the diet. This morning I marked 25 pounds lost. If I say 25.4 pounds, then you may better understand how I really feel about all this. The diet I am on - I drink essentially a "protein drink" three times a day that totals about 800 calories (or approximately 13 points to all the Weight Watcher fans) - is the most unnatural diet imaginable. The body is meant to eat something, and when it isn't, it has mechanisms that kick in and react to the lack of sustenance. That's the physical part, and it is very real. I have had recurring headaches, nausea, and I'll be going along just great and then suddenly simply run out of energy to the point of feeling like I could pass out. My stamina on the golf course is very suspect, and I have had to sit out a couple of holes in a round while I make a drink, ingest it and wait for it to kick in. I have also had a pretty good bout of dizziness from time to time, and I don't think there's anything more completely debilitating than being dizzy. Dizziness doesn't just effect your ability to break open a pinata - it knocks out whoever it chooses to attack, and it's my least favorite side effect.
Ah, but the physical part is just one component. The emotional part - the psychological part - now that's the interesting angle. I know some of the psychological issue is created by my body's reaction to starvation, because I have days where eating means nothing to me and I have to consciously remember to drink my drinks ... and the next day I feel like I could eat the piano if I had a little mustard. But I'm working on it.
But here's the real key I'm working on: I can use food in conjunction with socializing, to facilitate taking a break and for all around enjoyment - but it just doesn't have to be tons of food. My stomach has shrunk until now it is hard for me to consume an entire bottle of Arrowhead water with my two packets of protein powder. That's too much volume for my stomach. So the way I see it, all I have to do is get my head around the idea that I can survive (and perhaps thrive) on food quantities that mirror that experience. That would mean cutting a Chipoltle Burrito into like five segments when I am used to eating 90% (OK, sometimes 100%) of it. What a quantum shift that would be? A Lean Cuisine would actually be enough food for a meal? I could order and be satisfied with a 6" Subway sandwich? Can I overcome my disbelief in that concept when I return to eating again?
Honestly, from where I stand right now, Weight Watchers look like glutonous pigs to me. A little harsh, you say? Pound sand, oh judgmental reader. Nutrisystem? Jenny Craig? Drag a mile in my moccasins and see how you feel, Valerie Bertinelli. Give a twirl to show off your new figure and drop in a dizzy heap to the floor. Let's see if you can keep that bright smile when the only food group you have access to is gum.
Moving on ... did I mention I'm down 25.4 pounds? Probably did ... can't think clearly ... repeating myself a lot ... have to go now. Survival is calling me.
Love to all.
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