Monday, October 18, 2010

Another posting when away from home ...

Today, class, I'm in Washington, DC ... Although to be precise, I'm in Maryland. We are staying in a hotel that is right on the Potomac River. It's impossible to tell when you arrive or leave a different state around here, but suffice it to say that we are East Coasters, at least for the next few hours. Then we are coming home to Long Beach.

I've just spent four days at a conference supporting World Help. We are directed by World Hwlp to declare to the world that I am "on the Board" of World Help, but the truth is I am on the Advisory Board, which is like a Board of Directors "Lite" position. it's been quite a few days:
1)Kathy and I spent some wonderful time together - Kathy is one of the all-time great travelers ... but I think it speaks volumes about our "regular life" that we both feel like a lot of great fun was being had back at our house in Long Beach. We are definitely not sorry to be returning home today.

2)As if I needed it, I have had once again full confirmation that World Help is the real deal.In an economy where many charities are wondering where their next $10.00 is coming from, World Help grew from $70 million in 2009 to almost $140 million in 2010. Their percentage of "value that actually gets to the field and isn't spent on administration reached a staggering 91%. Wow - that has to be one of the highest percentages in all humanitarian groups on the planet.

3) World Help is developing a division called "CauseLife", and they are currently dedicated to drilling water wells in underdeveloped areas of the world. I am totally excited about this effort, and will be all over it to anyone who knows me, so be ready!! To paraphrase a well known axiom, "Give a man a bottle of water and he drinks off of your kindness for a day ... drill him a well, and he drinks his own water for 20 years, and you can move on and help the next guy!"

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Maybe - Just Maybe ... It's me ...

I'm just finishing up 5 days at Bandon Dunes golf resort, and it's a wonderful place right on the west coast of Oregon. The entire place sits on the ocean, sitting about 200 feet above the waterline, with 220 degree views of the ocean from some of the golf holes. Awesome ... Etc. The ocean views are ruggedly spectacular - no people in the water, of course, because up north here, you are more likely to see an iceberg before you see a surfer or sunbather. Just whitecaps and sand dunes as far as the eye can see. Incredibly powerful and hypnotically soothing at the same time.

So last night I was heading to dinner, and as I turned a corner I discovered that there was a sunset taking place that was fully equal to any beautiful sunset I have ever seen. The kind you can only see over the horizon of an ocean view, when the sun is a ball of orange that is sinking into the sea, with a thin band of dark clouds bisecting the radiating sphere while slivers of blue melt into an orange/red glow that slowly but inexorably takes over the sky's palette. I was standing outside the restaurant watching it take shape when a friendly employee approached me and told me he was going to the elevated first tee to get a better view, and he asked me if I wanted to go with him. "No thanks," I replied ...

But about three minutes later, as the sunset just got better and better, I thought, "Why did I say no? It's a bit of a walk, but even though this view is great, maybe there is even a better experience out there across the golf course," and I set off to the tee box to see for myself.

I could see the walk was about 800 yards or so, and I really didn't know exactly where I was going, but I decided I'd just follow my nose and see where I ended up. As I was walking, my phone rang in my pocket, and when I looked at the caller ID, it was Kathy. I'd all ready talked to her earlier in the day, so my first thought was a hope that everything was all right. "Hi, Sweetie," I answered, "What's up?

"Hi," she said. "I just wanted to call an tell you I was thinking about you and how I miss you and how much I love you."

As her last words caressed my ears I was just reaching the top of the flight of stairs that took me to the top of the tee box that brought the full sunset into view in a way that I never could have seen from my ground level starting point. In one charasmatic instant my eyes filled with the view of one of God's signature moments, my heart filled with the loving message from my wife, and my brain clicked like a camera taking a memorable shot - a moment, a feeling, that I can only pray that no matter what my brain chooses to forget as the years go by, please Lord, leave me that moment. I knew that maybe, just maybe, it's me ... maybe I am the luckiest man in the world!!

I felt like I'd run a race and won the big prize - but the best part of winning the big prize is a chance to give it away. God, family, love, caring ... these are the building blocks of life. Not stuff, not the false security of accumulated treasures, and not exercising the need to be dominant or controlling, always right or never wrong. Those are traps that take us away from what God really wants us to be, especially with each other. When I feel the love of my family and the love of God, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Thank you all for loving me. Please know how much I love you.

Monday, February 22, 2010

25 years ago, a new life changed my old life ...

This past Friday a special milestone was reached in my life. It was my 25th anniversary of understanding that unconditional love was actually part of the human potential. See, on February 19, 1985 my daughter Megan was born ... and so was I. At least the part of me that anyone really cares about. Or should care about, to be honest.

The first time I touched Megan, lying there in her little incubator after Kathy's C-section delivery, I reached through the hole in the plastic and I touched her using my little finger because I was so afraid of doing something wrong or hurting her. Even now, after 25 years have passed - after all the life experiences that a quarter of a century can lay on a guy's head and heart - I still remember that moment like it was yesterday. For a moment time stood still, and when my little finger made contact, it was like everything that was wrong or out of place for the 32 years I'd lived prior to that moment was all just a crazy path leading up to that split second. It didn't matter how I got there, I was there - the penultimate fresh start. Kathy had given me the greatest gift I'll ever receive this side of Heaven, and I knew it and I felt it. I had no idea it would be so much fun ... or I probably would have exploded and flown around the room backwards. I don't think it happened in the original 7 day plan, but on 2-19-85 God said, "Let there be fun", and thus He brought Megan into my life ... and the smiles went forth and multiplied!

So, you know how in Romans 8 the Bible explains to us how nothing "in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"? On my 25th anniversary of Megan's birth, I can tell you that I actually do understand that, and it just keeps growing. To believe that God loves me even more than the love I discovered 25 years ago is the most life affirming message I could ever possibly understand. Thanks, Megan. Thanks, Kathy. Without you, I might still be wondering if that was really a possibility, but now, more than ever, I know its true. And Lily, you're just a little booster shot of Vitamin Love, too, baby!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's Olympics all the way, baby!! USA! USA!

This is such an exciting time in my house!! On Friday we had an Olympics Opening Ceremony Party with the star attractions being Megan, Chris and Lily coming to town, rocking good food, and of course, the Olympics Opening Ceremonies!!

We made pulled pork macaroni and cheese with four cheeses and carmelized onions, topped with Panko bread crumbs - can you say yum, yum? With garlic bread and salad it was a real hit - followed by assorted chocolates and lots and lots of laughs. It was a night to remember.

The Murray family has a long history of being totally over the top for the Olympics, and these Winter Games are no exception. We love Canada, and anyone who watched the opening ceremonies couldn't help but love Canada, too. They did such a good job - they were so creative and fun and true to their multicultural heritage. It was really special, especially coming on the heals of the extravaganza that was Beijing, China. Now don't get me wrong, the Beijing Opening Ceremonies were a miracle - a presentation that set a new standard like Avatar sets a new standard in animation ... but the Vancouver presentation was so ... real ... so ... personal ... what the Chinese made me feel with millions of dollars, thousands of people and state of the art technology, Vancouver made me feel with some sail fabric hung in the shape of the Canadian Rockies and a Joni Mitchel song with a single flying acrobat. They are completely different events - like opera and country music - and I can understand it if anyone felt differently than me. But for my sense of pleasure, Vancouver really hit a home run, and I was really, really proud of them for their efforts and creativity.

And watching it with my family, including Chet (and in absentia but always in our hearts Zack and Carriza) was the icing on the cake. Lily's first Olympics. Yahoo.

So now the struggle is to work the Olympics schedule of events into the tax season work schedule ... a task worthy of Solomon, but unfortunately tasked to me. Still, I will do all I can. Megan, Chris and Lily are spending all week with us, so I expect this might just be the best week of my entire life ... not that I'm too excited or anything to have everyone together.

Go USA! Go Canada! Go the WORLD and learn from the lessons the Olympic brotherhood can teach us!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A mini-milestone ....

Wheeeew ... and I say that with a long, powerful exhale that changes that single syllable into a meaningful message. The end of today will mark one month on my diet. Or one year. Or one lifetime. It's all becoming a blur to me, although my body keeps sending me messages that seem to translate into, "And just WHO exactly thought this was a good idea??"

See, all dieting ALWAYS breaks down into one, single component: which celebrity is endorsing it ... no, that's not right. It's all about getting my body to use more calories than it is receiving. Then the body releases it's stored calories (fat), the fat is used up and ultimately goes (and this is just my theory) where single socks go from the dryer. Honestly, I don't care where it goes just as long as it leaves me. If there is some parallel universe where right now someone is putting on all the weight I am losing and saying, "I don't understand why I'm gaining weight when I never overeat?", who cares. This is war, baby, and my loss is my loss. So kiss my (choose a body part) parallel universe person!! 'Tis better to give than to receive, and I'm giving until it hurts!

I have had some success so far on the diet. This morning I marked 25 pounds lost. If I say 25.4 pounds, then you may better understand how I really feel about all this. The diet I am on - I drink essentially a "protein drink" three times a day that totals about 800 calories (or approximately 13 points to all the Weight Watcher fans) - is the most unnatural diet imaginable. The body is meant to eat something, and when it isn't, it has mechanisms that kick in and react to the lack of sustenance. That's the physical part, and it is very real. I have had recurring headaches, nausea, and I'll be going along just great and then suddenly simply run out of energy to the point of feeling like I could pass out. My stamina on the golf course is very suspect, and I have had to sit out a couple of holes in a round while I make a drink, ingest it and wait for it to kick in. I have also had a pretty good bout of dizziness from time to time, and I don't think there's anything more completely debilitating than being dizzy. Dizziness doesn't just effect your ability to break open a pinata - it knocks out whoever it chooses to attack, and it's my least favorite side effect.

Ah, but the physical part is just one component. The emotional part - the psychological part - now that's the interesting angle. I know some of the psychological issue is created by my body's reaction to starvation, because I have days where eating means nothing to me and I have to consciously remember to drink my drinks ... and the next day I feel like I could eat the piano if I had a little mustard. But I'm working on it.

But here's the real key I'm working on: I can use food in conjunction with socializing, to facilitate taking a break and for all around enjoyment - but it just doesn't have to be tons of food. My stomach has shrunk until now it is hard for me to consume an entire bottle of Arrowhead water with my two packets of protein powder. That's too much volume for my stomach. So the way I see it, all I have to do is get my head around the idea that I can survive (and perhaps thrive) on food quantities that mirror that experience. That would mean cutting a Chipoltle Burrito into like five segments when I am used to eating 90% (OK, sometimes 100%) of it. What a quantum shift that would be? A Lean Cuisine would actually be enough food for a meal? I could order and be satisfied with a 6" Subway sandwich? Can I overcome my disbelief in that concept when I return to eating again?

Honestly, from where I stand right now, Weight Watchers look like glutonous pigs to me. A little harsh, you say? Pound sand, oh judgmental reader. Nutrisystem? Jenny Craig? Drag a mile in my moccasins and see how you feel, Valerie Bertinelli. Give a twirl to show off your new figure and drop in a dizzy heap to the floor. Let's see if you can keep that bright smile when the only food group you have access to is gum.

Moving on ... did I mention I'm down 25.4 pounds? Probably did ... can't think clearly ... repeating myself a lot ... have to go now. Survival is calling me.

Love to all.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Once in a Lifetime Opportunity!!

Whoa, Nellie!! Hold on to your iconic memorabilia hats and just try and take in this unbelievable news ... Daily Finance (dailyfinance.com) is reporting that NASA has not only agreed to sell some of the used space shuttle fleet, but they're wheelin' and dealin' like they never whelt and dealt before!! Sure you've seen them for sale for much, much more - when they were available - but one-time-only, in honor of the recently departed tele-pitchman extraordinaire Billy Mays, instead of the $42 million price they were originally offered at, for the first 25 callers they will reduce the price to an incredible $28.8 million, including free delivery on the back of a 747 to the major airport of your choice!

But wait! As if that wasn't enough, call right now and NASA has agreed to also throw in a used main shuttle engine for only the cost of shipping and handling (no joke - that's the real offer). Can you imagine how much fun we can have with that on the desert shooting trips or even the 4th of July!! The fun would never cease!

So you tell me - how can we pass this up? If Michael Jackson was still alive, I can only imagine his enthusiasm for adding this to his theme park. Of course, once the shuttle is off loaded at the airport, getting it to a permanent base might be a pretty interesting task, but, hey - Kathy's got a pickup truck, and our neighbor Gary has about every tool known to man. And Chet, Zack and Chris can lift almost anything - we all ready know that - plus Chet can pack like nobody's business. It's a perfect fit! Megan can handle all the paperwork (plus dress Lily up to be the cutest shuttle pilot ever), Bill can handle the money and Carizza can handle all the catering needs plus developing the hand signals we need to load and unload.

So Chet, get ready to move the RV out of the back yard - shuttle coming in!! I totally see this working!

Of course, there is that small matter of the $28.8 million ... what do you think, gang? Car washes or bake sales? According to my calculations, we are only $28.7 million short ...

Just keeping the dream alive ...

Blessings,
Bill

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Change of plans ...

Well, it's Friday night, January 15th (although this probably won't get posted until early, early Saturday morning) and I've finished 8 days on my diet. Whew. And I had a bunch of stories I was going to blog about - mostly centering on how difficult it's been staying away from food that apparently has been responsible for an awful lot of comfort in my life, and how I have been on the verge of cracking up, etc. Trust me, it would have been hilarious ...

But complaining about anything in my life right now just took on a different patina, even if it is a vehicle for levity. Once again in my life I am struck by the burdens that God asks some people to carry while sparing others of us who lack even a practical comprehension of what it must be like to carry such heavy yokes.

Doesn't Haiti look about as bad as I can imagine a place getting? Ground zero for hopelessness and lack. Certainly by our standards it wasn't a highly desirable location before the earthquake, but now .... staggering. Raising a single peep of discontent with any condition in my life would be simply embarrassing, as would failing to send endless prayers of gratitude to God for sparing my family and me any such circumstances, so we'll talk about the diet another day when raising trivial matters will again be more acceptable.

You know, it just makes me cry that it takes a tragedy like this to make us all think about how we are all God's children, and how humans of all races and nations share so many more similarities than we do distinctions. Any parent reading this can sense what they would feel like if they lost children and grandchildren to some horrible event, and if we know anything about human kind, it is that we all share that same feeling. To watch a mother or father grieving in Haiti is to watch myself in the mirror should the same circumstances befall me. Their economic and geographic status have no effect on their basic humanity - until they are stripped away of all basic humanity and have to act in a level of self defense that I also do not relate to, either. When the shock gives way to desperation, I can imagine anyone acting without regard to social norm ... and I know I would. What would I do to get food for my family? I pray I'll never have to find out.

So Father, please hear my prayer. There is a mystery to life that I do not understand but that I know only You understand ... and the more I age, the more I see the value in that plan. You are God, the Great I AM, and I am just Bill, a fallen believer who understands that I am nothing without you. But tonight specifically, Lord, I pray that you shield Haiti from any worsening of their condition. Please Lord - tonight I pray the word "enough". I don't ask for personal revelation or understanding - I don't ask for renewal or uplifting ... not tonight, Lord. Tonight, Heavenly Father, I just ask you for a bottoming out of the experience for those affected by this tragedy. May tomorrow bring food and water, medical supplies and assistance, love and comfort to those incredibly needy people. May tomorrow be a starting place for a better day for the displaced children and the day when disaster workers start feeling less overwhelmed and more energized for the long task ahead. May the people sing your praises and thank you for the lives spared and the blessing of survival. May the sun rise on Haiti tomorrow, Lord, sending a beam of hope, and a knowledge that even in the destruction you still love them, as I know you do. Please, Lord, let the horrors be replaced by hope, and the pain be replaced by love. Please let the attitude of all concerned see today as the last day of darkness, and tomorrow as the first day of better days to come. And please, Lord, let the world see the value of coming together as one not only in times of tragedy. It shouldn't take a falling tower or a crumbling city for us to see the world as you would have us see it, and for the many times I am personally guilty of that, Lord, I ask your forgiveness. Thank you endlessly for the blessings you have bestowed on my family, and please hear how I love you and am honored beyond reason to consider that you love me, too. In Jesus precious name I pray, Amen.

We fall down ... we get up.
We fall down ... we get up.
And the Saints are just the sinners
Who fall down ... and get up.
- Bob Carlisle

Tomorrow we all start getting up, and lifting up, in the name of Jesus.

Blessings,
Bill