Good afternoon. Thank you, Lord, for another day.
Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to himself has said, "I hate plumbing. I hate thinking about plumbing, I hate having to figure plumbing out, and most of all - above almost all things in life - I hate cleaning up after plumbing fails to work properly."
Yesterday, however, such was my lot in life. In whatever way I angered or displeased God so that He allowed this to be my fate, Lord, please accept my humblest apology. There is no sin I would willingly commit were I cognizant before the fact that my restitution would include cleaning up after failed plumbing. In fact, Lord, if you're listening (and I know you are), I suggest that if this punishment were applied on a more universal scale, world peace and stopping global warming might become nothing but a distant memory. That is not to say that really difficult issues - like right wing fanatics who claim to be patriots willing to say anything to sow discord and discontent in order to enhance their own personal objectives - could be solved ... but things easier than that (like world hunger and human rights) could be materially advanced with just the threat of the punishment that I endured yesterday.
So today's posting would be incomplete without an appropriate nod to a product for which I now have the utmost respect. I think there should be a national day reserved in order to honor bleach!! It cleans, it whitens, it disinfects (and this is a key issue in the world of failed plumbing), and now they even make bleach that smells like ... well, like something other than bleach! I chose "fresh linen" smell. Yahoo! What will they think of next? I don't know, but if the thinking is done by the guy who invented bleach, count me in!
Then, after it was all over, I wore the tennis shoes I cleaned up in over to Kohl's, went directly into the shoe department, threw them away and walked out in a new, clean pair of tennis shoes. I'm not sure you'll notice the shoes if you see me because except for the crap and assorted paper products accumulated in the laces of the old shoes, the new ones I bought look exactly like the old shoes ... but I am not a slave to fashion. It's my dream that for the rest of my life, whenever I need new tennis shoes, this exact model of shoe will be available - and so far, so good!
Man - if my life stays this exciting, this blog will be a thrilling place to start your day, won't it??
Ha Ha ...
And so it is - God Bless
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